This is Chuck Fiddlesticks, reporting live on the scene, as officers storm the head office of Wizard Power, a business that has recently come under scrutiny for selling solar panels that may or may not actually be solar panels. This reporter loves solar panels as much as the next person. There’s no question about that. I myself am enjoying the benefits of a solar lease agreement for my business. Solar energy is the way of the future, and if you’re not on board with it yet, then you’re a chump. You know who else is a chump? Boss Wizard. That’s who. Boss Wizard is the scum of the earth. Boss Wizard is at the head of this grand conspiracy. Across Australia, Wizard Power has sold over ten thousand solar energy systems. How many of them actually create solar power? Allegedly, none.
Attention has been drawn to this shady business, after Boss Wizard, CEO of Wizard Power, went on a huge rant about how he “doesn’t” use fireballs to create electricity and then sell that power as solar energy, even though the energy created by fireballs and the sun is virtually indistinguishable. Authorities thought this was most suspicious and decided to look into it further. Wouldn’t you know it, the whole company is a big sham. I called it from the very start!
How did the authorities discover the truth? Well, it’s quite simple, you see. They took a very fancy commercial solar panel calculator and used it to measure the amount of solar power in these panels, and the reading came back completely negative. Given the scale of this conspiracy, all available units have been called in to assist in the arrest of Boss Wizard, who owns many successful businesses throughout the country.
Right now, Boss Wizard is threatening to use his greatest-ever fireball to blow up the entire office building. Will he actually go through with it? Tune in next time to find out!