Auto Electrical, Coming Soon to Vinyl

auto mechanic BentleighI had quite the productive weekend, organising all of my music into albums. This had the added bonus of letting me know which anthologies are ready to release to the public, and which perhaps need a bit more time, and a few more pieces. There’s a really important music festival coming up, and I’m planning to borrow Davina’s car so that I can sell my albums out the back of it. But for that, I need albums!

The automotive one is totally ready to go. I spent days and days and even DAYS assembling my set of symphonic poems on the subject of automotive…things. Automotive repairs, and the replacement of tires. The album is going to be named after the best place and activity: ‘Auto Electrical, Bentleigh – The Beautiful Voice of a Mechanic.’

Ah yes…gorgeous. For you see, there’s a unique sound to auto electrical that I don’t think I would’ve realised if I hadn’t been crouched behind the mechanic’s workshop for two weeks, recording everything and going home to meditate on what I’d heard. The gentle whirr of the drill, and the crackle of the…electrical things. Honestly, I couldn’t see most of what was going on and I don’t own a car, so it was all a bit of a mystery to me. And yet, that was what made it all the sweeter. That was what produced such masterpieces as ‘NYEEERRRR, the whirring sounds of the heart’ and ‘The Ballad of the Lonely Corolla Who Just Wanted to Perform, NYING NYING, VREEEE’.

I like to think that the album as a whole tells a beautiful story, a story of many vehicles and their strivings to become whole again by visiting an car auto mechanic near Bentleigh. The songs they sing shall acho throughout time, provided people actually buy my album, which…well, they obviously will. I’m basically the only person doing what I’m doing. I’m a pioneer!


No One Expects the Engine Failure!

type repair BrunswickYou never see the engine failure coming. It’s just like the Spanish Inquisition, but even more personal because it’s happening now, to me, and the Spanish Inquisition didn’t happen to me specifically.

I guess I should’ve maybe kicked the tyres every now and then so see if they were going down, which may have helped to avert the unfortunate tree crash incident. Also, who plants a tree by the side of the road? That’s just asking for trouble, in my humble opinion.

Guess I need to take better care of the next one, and that means doing the requisite work to keep the car together. Topping up the oil, kicking the tires with somewhat more frequency, and maybe I could check out a place that does the best tyre repair Brunswick residents can count on. Is tire repair a thing? It must be a thing, because I find myself in need of it. Oh, and I guess a general mechanic wouldn’t go awry. Never used one before, because I kept telling myself that mechanics were for people who had REAL problem cars. You know, like the problems you have when you wrap your car around a tree. Turns out that there’s a middle ground between ‘car working fine’ and ‘car totally written off’, and mechanics occupy that sweet spot. Ah, if only I’d known.

To be fair, neither of my parents drive, so I was never taught. My dad was in the automotive industry, but most of what he did was winding back the odometer on used cars and panel beating the dents out, so they looked newer than they were. Then he’d sell them, never having sat in them but telling people that he’d been driving it for years.

I guess you could say that was a bit dishonest. I mean, when I actually find a guy for my transmission service in the Brunswick area I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they’re out to do their jobs. Most mechanics are, so I’ve heard. That’s why they learn stuff about cars, unlike me.


Tool Expertise Not Found

toolsThere’s a slight chance I’m over my head here. I’ve only just taken up my career as an all-round handyman, which is a bad thing because I’m not an all-rounder. Yesterday I confused a gas bottle holder with an aluminium tray. Melbourne has no need of tradespeople who don’t know what they’re doing.

And it’s not that I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve been part of an apprenticeship for four years! But…it was as a roofing person. So I climbed around on the roof a lot, used a hammer, ripped uo some tiles, did all that. I was thinking I might have walked away with some all-round skills, hence why I’ve started my own general business. Now, on my first day, I’m sort of regretting it. Took less time than I thought.

The one thing giving me a bit of hope is this conference thing in Sydney. It’s for people like me, so we can go along and learn about how to be better at DIY and our jobs and stuff. I just heard that one of the electives was ‘the Absolute Basics’ and I was pretty much sold, because that’s what I’ll be needing. Just give me the beginning stuff, and preferably a room full of people who are just like me: learning for the first time. I mean, surely the place won’t be packed with older guys, because they already know their stuff. They walk around with their toolbox central locking, and super-souped-up utes and pretty much look like they have nothing more to learn. So yeah, I could be in good company. Or…I’m hoping that I will be.

Anyway, I’m just going to go with my head held high, or whatever. There’s no shame in being a beginner, because it’s where everyone has to start. That’s what my old boss used to say, and I think it’s true. I’m a beginner, and proud. And I might just find out what a gas bottle holder really looks like. That’d be cool, I guess.