I’m on a mission to convince my employer to move on from nuclear energy to solar energy. The benefits of solar energy are just so obvious. Solar energy is better for the environment, produces cleaner energy and allows you to enjoy energy independence. If my boss doesn’t respond to these climate-charged benefits (which he should because more and more consumers are only purchasing from companies who help the planet), then I’ll move on to the more economical benefits.
By changing to solar energy, my boss would certainly be eligible for some sort of solar financing, which would help cover the costs of installing solar energy. Then if he still doesn’t go for that, I’ll tell him how he’ll save money and reduce his electricity bills by getting solar panels installed. Lastly, I’ll tell him that installing solar panels helps to increase the resale value of his commercial property, which I assume he doesn’t plan on owning for the rest of his life.
I really hope that my boss decides to go for it. I’ll feel really guilty and unfulfilled if I work for a company that doesn’t help minimise its climate impact. But I can’t afford to get another job in such a volatile job market, so I’ll have to stay even if my boss says no. Maybe, I’ll even suggest the types of commercial solar panels that he can choose from, to help make his decision making easier. If he feels pressured to make a decision on top of having too much to choose from, that could work against me. I’ll create a short, succinct list of the types of solar panels that are best for him to help streamline the process.
I’ll report back to you guys on what happens in the coming weeks. I have a feeling it won’t be an overly fast process, so don’t expect an update from me in the next couple of days.
This is Chuck Fiddlesticks, reporting live on the scene, as officers storm the head office of Wizard Power, a business that has recently come under scrutiny for selling solar panels that may or may not actually be solar panels. This reporter loves solar panels as much as the next person. There’s no question about that. I myself am enjoying the benefits of a solar lease agreement for my business. Solar energy is the way of the future, and if you’re not on board with it yet, then you’re a chump. You know who else is a chump? Boss Wizard. That’s who. Boss Wizard is the scum of the earth. Boss Wizard is at the head of this grand conspiracy. Across Australia, Wizard Power has sold over ten thousand solar energy systems. How many of them actually create solar power? Allegedly, none.
Attention has been drawn to this shady business, after Boss Wizard, CEO of Wizard Power, went on a huge rant about how he “doesn’t” use fireballs to create electricity and then sell that power as solar energy, even though the energy created by fireballs and the sun is virtually indistinguishable. Authorities thought this was most suspicious and decided to look into it further. Wouldn’t you know it, the whole company is a big sham. I called it from the very start!
How did the authorities discover the truth? Well, it’s quite simple, you see. They took a very fancy commercial solar panel calculator and used it to measure the amount of solar power in these panels, and the reading came back completely negative. Given the scale of this conspiracy, all available units have been called in to assist in the arrest of Boss Wizard, who owns many successful businesses throughout the country.
Right now, Boss Wizard is threatening to use his greatest-ever fireball to blow up the entire office building. Will he actually go through with it? Tune in next time to find out!