My New Book

I’ve always wanted to write a book, and I think now is the time to do it. With everyone stuck indoors due to the giant blizzard that’s come over Melbourne this winter, there’s never been a better time to get creative. I knew having this website name would come in handy someday.

Now, what is my book going to be about? My first idea was a story about a man who works for a commercial fitouts business. Melbourne is the setting. The man gets caught up in a secret society of designers who are planning to take over the world. I like it, but you know what they say: your first idea is never your best. So I suppose I’ll treat this blog post as some sort of brainstorming exercise.

What if I wrote a novel about a man who can conjure diamonds out of thin air? I could call it “The Diamond Conjurer”. Obviously everybody would covet this power of his, and maybe he’d even get captured and be forced to make diamonds for the mob. But because there are so many diamonds, they ultimately lose their value and the protagonist ends up with a kind of useless power. Actually, maybe a book about a Melbourne office design secret society would be more interesting.

Let’s see… what if I wrote about life on Mars in the distant future, which then gets interrupted by an alien invasion. In the end, the plot twist could be that the aliens are actually humans from Earth! Alternatively, my book could be about robots in the distant future who have taken over the world and exterminated all the humans. They used poisonous gasses, and they poisoned our… water supply. Yeah, I like that one. Robots in the distant future of 2025. Alright, now that I’ve got the concept down, it’s time to go write chapter one. Thanks for being such a good brainstorming partner, reader of my blog!

– Jared

Pushing Stainless Steel Paperwork

marine steel fabrication

You wouldn’t think I’d get abuse in my job. After all, I’m just a paper pusher. I do a freelance paper pushing, actually, which is a weird situation. Basically, I’m a really flexible temp, and people tend to hire me because I have experience in so many industries. But then, I get to see what they have to deal with as well. For example, people who do business tax returns have it the worst. So much verbal abuse when I was working there…and when I’d say that I was just a temp, it wouldn’t stop. They’d abuse me for being a temp and not being the one they wanted to talk to. See what I mean? I couldn’t win.

One time I was in Melbourne, sorting out stainless steel fabrication documents and filing systems for a few companies around the place. I was also put in charge of phone duty, and boy do those people get some unwarranted abuse! Some lady rang up because she’d been on a cruise and the bow rails hadn’t been polished. Nothing I can do about that, and from the sounds of things, it was a miracle that she got off the boat at all. Then she wanted me to change the documents on the sly and give her a discount, even though I didn’t even work for the company and no one would ever hire me again. Unlikely!

And then in the same week, on my last day, there was the guy who said that he used to be a demolitions expert who threatened to knock the place down if he didn’t get a bulk discount on fishing rod holders. Quite how he went from knocking down buildings to apparently dealing out rod holders to all of his friends (he can’t have been selling them) I don’t know. Apparently, fishing rod holders are serious business to some.

All I can say is that we should show a bit of leniency when dealing with people who do temporary paperwork. They take a lot of flak. And tax return folks? They all deserve a hug.