Jared Diamond Books

Is there a word for when you’re addicted to conferences? I guess not, since there’s not really a word for addictions to EVERYTHING. I mean, there are no words for people addicted to milk, or cupcakes.

But I really am addicted to attending conferences. I go to at least one a month, sometimes more if I can swing it. I love meeting new people, but also, I love not having to see those new people afterwards. It’s the perfect balance of personal and impersonal. I reject all friend requests on Visage-Tome. It’s my personal policy not to get attached to any other conference attendees.

As a result, I have a comprehensive map of all the conference venues in Victoria, and even across the rest of Australia. My expertise in the matter is so good, I could probably start charging as a consultant. I can tell you which places have drafts, which ones come with great catering (Lorne), the ones that have comfy seats in their lecture halls and those that are close to amenities for those late-night sugar cravings we tend to get while on those things.

Of course, I’m a veteran now. I always bring a secret supply of sugar; generally keeps me going. Oh, and the beds/ The beds are VERY important in a conference venue, I can tell you that. As good as I’ve gotten at sleeping in different places, sometimes my skills are put to the absolute test with the terrible, stone-consistency mattresses they make us sleep on. Fortunately, those ones are in the minority. I actually find that the function venues in Victoria are quite a bit better than those you find elsewhere. I’m about to head out to a conference in Brisbane that LOOKS lovely. I’ll have to update my rankings once I get back. Except I’m going straight to that one in Perth, and then one an hour away from here…and it’s still not enough.

-Graham

I’m not going to lie, there are a lot of things that really suck about having a dad who travels a lot. When he’s not there during the weekend and you’re having a freakout over some really important issue or other then you don’t get the level-headed benefit of his overwhelmingly sound advice. Or when your bike’s broken there’s really no one who can fix it. He misses out on all the small stuff, and as a result your relationship suffers and he knows that. Which leads to one of the perks of having a dad who travels: sometimes, he takes you with him.

Not just you either (that would be kind of mean to your mum) but your whole family. Like when we went to Lorne for the long weekend. Dad was at some business thing or other down that way, so we got booked up at some hotel in Lorne, with luxury accommodation that the rest of you mere mortals can only dream of. We got a day off school and a mini-holiday that we weren’t expecting at all (well, mum may have been, but me and Chris had no idea). At the same time, the most amazing conference venues in Victoria were actually in the same building we were staying in, so we actually got to spend a ton of time with dad. Obviously, we couldn’t go into the conference venues with dad (trust me, me and Chris tried) but it was pretty awesome just exploring Lorne on our own.

It was really cool going to the Great Ocean Road for a mini holiday, but personally, I hope we get to go somewhere overseas for Easter. Last year we spent the winter holidays in China and that was crazy. I’d love to do something like that again. So even though it sucks when dad goes away, it’s pretty freaking cool when we get to go with him.