This is Chuck Fiddlesticks, reporting live on the scene, as officers storm the head office of Wizard Power, a business that has recently come under scrutiny for selling solar panels that may or may not actually be solar panels. This reporter loves solar panels as much as the next person. There’s no question about that. I myself am enjoying the benefits of a solar lease agreement for my business. Solar energy is the way of the future, and if you’re not on board with it yet, then you’re a chump. You know who else is a chump? Boss Wizard. That’s who. Boss Wizard is the scum of the earth. Boss Wizard is at the head of this grand conspiracy. Across Australia, Wizard Power has sold over ten thousand solar energy systems. How many of them actually create solar power? Allegedly, none.
Attention has been drawn to this shady business, after Boss Wizard, CEO of Wizard Power, went on a huge rant about how he “doesn’t” use fireballs to create electricity and then sell that power as solar energy, even though the energy created by fireballs and the sun is virtually indistinguishable. Authorities thought this was most suspicious and decided to look into it further. Wouldn’t you know it, the whole company is a big sham. I called it from the very start!
How did the authorities discover the truth? Well, it’s quite simple, you see. They took a very fancy commercial solar panel calculator and used it to measure the amount of solar power in these panels, and the reading came back completely negative. Given the scale of this conspiracy, all available units have been called in to assist in the arrest of Boss Wizard, who owns many successful businesses throughout the country.
Right now, Boss Wizard is threatening to use his greatest-ever fireball to blow up the entire office building. Will he actually go through with it? Tune in next time to find out!
Welcome to our first profile for the contestants of That Renovation Rules, Australia’s hot new internet competition. Let’s learn a little about our first contestant, Hawkvision! Hawkvision has an impressive CV coming into this competition, although it mostly involves destroying buildings rather than renovating them. Hawkvision has helped save the world multiple times. He stopped Low-Key with his alien invasion back in 2012. Years later, he stopped Ultra Ron from destroying the entire world by dropping an entire city. More recently, he helped save the world from Thanks, who wanted to snap half of life out of existence. That’s pretty impressive!
But how will these heroic events influence his kitchen renovation? Let’s ask him! Hey, Hawkvision, how are the heroic events you have been involved in going to influence the design of your kitchen renovation?
Well, I’ve been thinking that I would design this kitchen exactly how we have it at the Revengers facility in the United States. That means it has to be big enough for heroes like the Big Green Man and Giant Ant. It will have plenty of secret buttons, many of them opening up draws containing weapons, such as my trusty bow and arrow set. We need to be ready to save the world at any time, so that is going to greatly influence how I design this kitchen. I also got in touch with some of the best kitchen designers in the Melbourne area, who gave me some useful tips.
That certainly sounds like it will be an interesting kitchen when completed. I imagine that it will be quite futuristic, with a lot of really cool gadgets and technology. I can’t wait to see it reach completion! Of course, our contestants have absolutely no limitations on what materials they use or where they get them from. Budgets? There are none! Does that give an unfair advantage to our well-resourced contestants? Yes, yes it does.