Wizard Cooling Off

“You need to find a new place to live,” the swamp monster said as it walked into the room. The wizard turned to look at it from where he was crouched in front of the air conditioning unit. He refused to look it in the eyes, tightening his bathrobes around himself defensively.

“Why would I want to do such a thing?” he said, shivering as he inspected the unit that refused to cool the room despite the boiling temperatures. 

The swamp creature gestured to the tools around its moss-filled living room. “You’re a professional fixer upper-er!” it replied. “My in-laws came by yesterday and they were disgusted by how functional everything was.” 

“Well, I’m afraid I can’t move out until next week. Do you know how hard it is to book a ducted heater service with a local technician? I’m not cancelling.” He banged at the unit, praying that it would somehow gurgle into life before him. He had already tried to duct-tape his staff together to fix the machine but after it let out a few warning sparks, he decided it was more trouble than it was worth. 

“Why did you book that? Things aren’t meant to work around here,” it huffed. The wizard turned just in time to see small mushrooms sprouting up in frustration from the green foliage of the creature’s back.

“There’s no way we’re living here without getting some urgent heating services and repairs. Canberra is way too cold in winter, I won’t survive!” The wizard stood up abruptly, a pointy hat almost teetering off his head as he placed his hand on his hips disapprovingly.

The creature could feel its patience draining. They had known each other for almost a decade. He had suddenly showed up one day after being kicked out of his magic academy. Since then he had been fixing things left and right. The agreement had been a few weeks to find a new place but it had now been months.

Before it could speak, the wizard was storming off into another room.

“You have to find a new place to live!” it called out to his retreating form, but the words would fall on deaf ears.