Is there a better place in Melbourne than Dandenong? Surely, it is the shining jewel of the capital…of Victoria. I’m pretty sure Melbourne is the capital of Victoria, but just let me check.
Yes, it is indeed. A bustling metropolis, so full of life, where markets abound and all things are available to purchase. Frankly, I don’t see the appeal of places like Brunswick and Fitzroy…they market themselves as places of business, hubs of excitement. And yet, SO exclusive. Dandenong welcomes all peoples, of all nations, of all levels of personal hygiene. Actually, that last one is a LOT like Brunswick; people down here just aren’t making a ‘thing’ of it.
Alright, so it’s an awesome place to live, which is why I went for the top tourism position. Improving Dandenong’s image, although it’s so great the job basically does itself. Did you know that Dandenong pest control is some of the best in the world? That’s going to be the slogan of my next campaign…we’re trying to target niche markets, you see, and one of them is people who don’t look after their homes and tend to have a lot of problems. Insect problems. Also, other arachnids and invertebrates. It’s a very niche demographic, but I feel like it could work because no one wants to have ants and other such beings eating away at their home. Well, Dandenong does indeed have pest control experts who are ready at the drop of a hat. Before the hat touches the ground, even! It would greatly depend on where the hat was dropped from, because if it was a tall building, we might be able to give you a guarantee on that.
I’m still new to the job, clearly. Oh, people love holidays! Dandenong is super close to places like Sorrento, and…other holiday places, like Frankston and Rosebud! Termite control and such in those places as well. Holidaymakers who also need pest control is pretty niche, but I feel like there might be a market there.