Reality TV is all about the competition nowadays. That sounds like an obvious thing to say, but…hear me out. You get the odd one, like People Who Are Just Lovely About Each Other’s Baking where they’re quite nice and saying goodbye to someone in one of the weeks is genuinely tough because they’re such chums. Maybe that’s because it’s British and their concept of drama is a bit different.
Still, all the billboards for People Who Are Nasty About Each Other’s Cooking (PWNAEOC) are pretty focused on the competitive side. I know Melbourne signwriters have to work with what they’re given, so it’s not the signage company’s fault. The networks are the ones who really need to reign it in, because that’s a direct culture of negativity beaming into cars travelling along the freeway. I wonder what my daughter thinks when she sees a big billboard advertising PWNAEOC on weeknights, and it also has one of the nastier contestants featured. Her name is…Perona? Patricia? Pangea? Anyway, they all her the Financial Falcon, because she’s a financial planner but is also really quite vicious and swooping with her comments. And now she’s the designated villain, because even reality TV needs that kind of thing apparently. Maybe Pangea is really just a nice girl in real life, you know? It could be camera trickery.
To be fair, that’s not the only kind of outdoor signage on the market. There are other couples in the competition, and they’re pretty nice sometimes, some of them, maybe. Or at least, the signs call them by nicer names and imply that they’re in it for the fun. Can’t we all just be in it for the fun? You know, like in PWJLAEOB. Such a nice show, without any dramatic musical cues when someone’s chicken tenders turn out to be a bit stringy. I want to see some quality Melbourne outdoor signage that highlights the skills and contributions of the contestants, not playing up how they’re going to cause trouble. I should write to the network.
-Byron
My wife and I used to have an ancient farm shed at the back of our property which we kept around for rustic appeal. For a while we even kept our cars in there because we didn’t have enough saved for a garage yet. But it was only months later that I was saving like mad to get rid of that old shed and put my vehicles in brand new 
o I was out walking my dogs this morning since it was my day off work and I got talking to this really nice lady. She had a dog with her and it was playing with my dog, and as we got talking it turns out she was at work, right then and there. How? She’s one of what I can only assume is a community of 
I’m a fairly social person and often have parties at my house. I live by myself so I was always coming up with excuses to invite people over. Sometimes the parties get a little out of hand and I have to hire professional carpet and 
Idiosyncratic. That’s a funny word. Idiosyncratic…sometimes I wish I could be a little bit less idiosyncratic. There’s something to be said for following the crowd, just a little bit. After all, it’s how humans ever got together in the first place; bonding over shared interests of having come from the same family, or not wanting to be eaten by elephants.
I’ve never needed boat advice before. Guess there’s a first time for everything. In fact, I’ve never been a big fan of water, or the ocean, so this is a new world of aquatic mayhem and terms to remember…which side is starboard? Ahh, there’s that line from 
I just discovered something amazing, and terrifying. When you’re not HOLDING a spoon…you forget HOW to hold a spoon! What kind of scientific witchcraft is this? I don’t know how this works, but it does, and it’s chilling. What if one day I have to mime the use of a spoon, and I end up looking like I’m using a shovel? It’ll be a sad day, indeed.
It’d be so great to own a kingdom. Or just be the ruler of a kingdom, whichever comes first. Being the Prime Minister is great and all, and being the president would probably be even better. But still, there’s nothing quite like being the king, and/or queen. They always have the most personal power, and anyone who thinks that they’re outdated needs to go and take a running jump.
I have like zero control over my life right now and it’s seriously affecting my mood. I sometimes feel like I am losing my grip on things and it hurts my soul and my mind. I have nowhere to turn because all my family are in another country. I have started losing all of my friends, they will not talk to me. I don’t even know if I can get through some days, it’s all too much. I have to keep breathing and focus on making it through another hour. The reason for my crisis all begins and ends with termites. I have to move out of my house for a little while because there are so many of them. I feel like it’s my fault that the house is in such a bad state because of the white ants. All I know is that the best 
Having a world class beauty clinic within walking distance of your house can be looked upon as a positive, or a negative depending on what you value. A lot of people think that living so close to such a shop would be annoying and inconvenient. I have found it to be the complete opposite. Not only do I enjoy being part of a street that comes to life with the morning sun and continued long into the dark adventures throughout the night. I love where I live, but I do have a bit of a weakness when it comes to cosmetic therapy. That weakness knows me like an addiction knows an addict. How to keep me and trap me and to temp me until I have no choice but to give in. The place near my house is one of the most talked about beauty clinics in Melbourne,