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on’t judge me too much for this, but I’m kind of a snob when it comes to sign writers. Melbourne has some signs with pretty great different types of designs and catchy phrasing and all that, and don’t think I haven’t seen some awesome signs in my time, because I have, but you’ve got to admit, there’s a lot of bull out there.
It’s one of those things that developed pretty slowly really, my sign snobbery, I mean. It wasn’t like one day I didn’t notice them at all and then suddenly I was grading them on a bell curve, rather, I’ve always been one to notice the detail in things. It’s just the way I am. Then, for fun in university, I took a marketing course. One of the first things the marketing professor said was, and I remember this very clearly: “marketing is everywhere – all you have to do is look around you” and I don’t know why but I did. I started literally looking around me and taking into account all the signs plastered all of the place. Evaluate them. At first it was just something fun to do while on public transport, but after all this time it’s become like a little bit of a compulsive habit. Not that it’s bad or anything. Not that it bothers me, because it’s doesn’t. It’s always like a bit of a game.
When I tell people about my little game, people are often pretty confused about it, and I get some pretty weird questions. My favourite question, though, would have to be “what’s your favourite sign?” It’s not just my favourite question because I have an answer ready and waiting, but because just remembering that particular sign brings a smile to my face. It was for a car wrap company in Melbourne, and I don’t really know what it was about it that I loved so much, except to say that everything just worked together, like a tuned orchestra. It was beautiful and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.
It was my first day off from work in weeks and I was looking forward to stretching out on the couch and stuffing myself full of delivered pizza. But the kids were also home that day and they were hogging the couch, jumping all over it and screeching at their video games. I looked out the window with forlorn, wondering how I was going to unwind, but the sun was shining and there in our yard under the dappled shade of a tree, a little alcove called to me invitingly. What better way to spend some leisure time than to sit under a tree and read a book? Little did I know that the endeavour would devolve into the need for
going to lie, there are a lot of things that really suck about having a dad who travels a lot. When he’s not there during the weekend and you’re having a freakout over some really important issue or other then you don’t get the level-headed benefit of his overwhelmingly sound advice. Or when your bike’s broken there’s really no one who can fix it. He misses out on all the small stuff, and as a result your relationship suffers and he knows that. Which leads to one of the perks of having a dad who travels: sometimes, he takes you with him. 
I always thought I liked cleaning, that was until I embarked on the cleanup task to end all cleanup tasks. I’m one of those people who get antsy when there are dirty dishes in the sink, and I get a sick satisfaction out of scrubbing the bathroom tiles ‘til they sparkle. But when my partner and I decided to buy an old, long-unused warehouse, the cleanup task almost got the better of me…
It’s funny how when you’re ill, you completely forget what it’s like to be healthy. Then when you’re healthy again you forget what it was like being ill. It’d help a lot with empathy if we could just conjure up that feeling.
Sleepy in the morning, wide awake at night. The human body always find ways to make us miserable. Got a hot date? Here’s some kind of blemish that seems to swallow your whole face! Available for a limited time only! Yeah, until your date is over. Feels like such a betrayal. And then when you’re recovering from a nasty virus that made you get the snivels for like, three whole days, you’re asked to plan a birthday party. Because we can’t just find some
I’ve always had an obsession with the 1950s. I dunno what it is about that decade that I’m so drawn to. It may have started when I saw the movie Rebel Without a Cause. James Dean was so cool with his grease-slicked hair and bad boy attitude. Then of course there’s the beautiful Natalie Wood and the iconic 1950s drag cars. Ever since then I’ve watched every film from the period and even started collecting 1950s memorabilia. My garage was slowly filling with useless antiques when my husband suggested we turn it into a retro themed space.
I never thought I’d be the type to use dating apps, but…they’ve gotten a lot more fun since the last time I tried them out. The one I’m using right now lets you play games with a potential match, so you can eventually see what they’re into. In fact, I have a few apps on the go. One of them matches you up depending on what kind of movies you like to watch. Another one I just started yesterday takes all your VisageTome posts and tries to find you a partner with approximately the same level of grammar and sophistication. Not so sure about that one.
I could’ve been a spy. I’m really that good at infiltration and espionage in general. I’ve seen all the movies and I’ve incorporated all of their techniques into my repertoire. I’ve taken self-defence classes, I was pretty good one that one time I went to a firing range and I’m really good at sneaking up on people. My improv isn’t too bad either.