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Memorial Climbing Roses

Posted under Garden on July 19th, 2021 by admin

My sister went through a tragic loss one month and two days ago. The month has gone by in a blur. It somehow simultaneously feels like it has always been this way, and that it just happened yesterday. If you’re wondering what happened, her twenty-five-year-old son died. In fact, he died unexpectedly on Mother’s Day. My beautiful nephew, her beloved son, woke up feeling ill and went back to sleep. He never woke up.

I still can’t get my head around it. How can someone so full of life be here one minute and gone the next? They became worried when he didn’t turn up to Mother’s Day lunch. It was just the worst thing in the world, and it hasn’t gotten any better a month on… not that I would expect it to.

As soon as it happened she asked us not to buy her any pretty dwarf roses or any flowers at all, for that matter. As much as she loves flowers normally, she didn’t want people to spend money on them. Instead, she asked anyone who wanted to buy flowers to donate the money they would have spent to charity. Even in the absolute darkest moment of her life, she was still thinking about other people. She, her son and her family did not deserve this.

As her sister, I took a bit of liberty with the rule. I decided to buy her something that she could grow and look after over the long term. There were climbing roses for sale at my local farmers market the day after my nephew died. I felt like it was a sign. My sister can plant the climbing roses near a fence in her yard and look after them. She can channel all her sadness into looking after these flowers, which will grow beautiful and strong just like her son. Every time a new rose blossoms it’ll be her son saying hello and letting her know that he’s okay.

Drain Unblocking Inability

Posted under Drains on June 30th, 2021 by admin

My wife and daughter pity me. They’re both really handy, well put together women, which I’m proud of them for. But because they can do everything so perfectly and with such ease, they don’t see the need for me to do anything. For example, the toilet became clogged overnight and I offered to fix it. It was pretty obvious that it would take me longer than it would take any of them, including the plumber obviously, but I wanted to try anyway. I had the day off work so I didn’t see any reason why I shouldn’t be the person to deal with the blocked sewer. In the Melbourne area, our sewers are old, so I’m not surprised that ours broke down, or whatever happened to it. What I am surprised about is how little faith my family has in me. Just because things take me a little longer doesn’t mean I can’t do them

I was determined to prove that to my wife and daughter. I spent all day today trying to fix it, and if I’m honest, I’m glad that my wife wasn’t home to witness it. I became increasingly frustrated with the blocked drain that I had in front of me. I may have even told my daughter to go away, which I feel bad about now that I’ve calmed down. I will apologise to her in the morning. I think part of being a good parent is admitting when you’re wrong. It teaches your child that people, even adults, make mistakes and that it’s important to own up to those mistakes.

Anyway, I digress. If you’re wondering what happened with the whole blocked drain/toilet ordeal, I hadn’t managed to unblock it by the time my wife got home from work. We ended up calling a drain plumber in the Melbourne CBD to come to our house after hours. The plumber fixed the toilet, obviously, but my dignity went down the drain as soon as he walked in the door. Pun, unfortunately, intended.

Bowed legs

Posted under podiatrist on June 28th, 2021 by admin

If anyone is going to make you paranoid, it is your in-laws. I’ve never noticed anything strange about any of the kids. Sure, my daughter picks her nose and eats it sometimes but beyond that I haven’t noticed anything odd. Even the nose-picking can be argued as normal. Then the other day my mother-in-law, who I like to refer to as the ‘dragon’, suddenly turned around and mentioned that my son’s legs are bowed. I corrected her and said they’re not and he’s simply going through an awkward stage crossing over from toddler to child. She then snapped back and told me that it’d be wise to send him to the childrens’ orthotics specialist near Cheltenham so he can be properly examined before he turns out like me. Not only did she insult my son but she insulted me too all within one minute. For the record, my legs aren’t bowed either! Of course, my sometimes-foolish husband has locked his mum’s words deep within his subconscious and keeps suggesting that it might be wise to take our son to the specialist. I for one am insulted that my husband can’t have more of a backbone in this matter. Then again, I’m not surprised. His mum has probably been in his ear nonstop about sending our son to the specialist.

While I’m inclined to be a brat and go against her wishes, I think this time I will take my son to the specialist just so I can prove her wrong and tell her to mind her business in future. There’s a foot specialist nearby that I always pass on the way to work. I think I might send my son there. I think what irritates me most about this interaction is how she went about mentioning my son’s legs. It wasn’t a polite statement of concern. It was as if she found him repulsive and then she proceeded to bark orders at me like I was some servant. Anyone else have to deal with mothers-in-law like mine?

My new tray

Posted under Aluminium on June 24th, 2021 by admin

I really enjoy being a tradie. No two jobs feel the same as I’m always working at different locations. As far as the work itself, it has become quite second nature to me and I’ve learned to become quite a good problem solver whenever I encounter an issue I’m not familiar with. I’d say I have all the tools I need now too which is super handy, plus I recently bought my own ute. The only things that I’m missing now are aluminium ute canopies. I never really thought I needed one but recently I saw a news report where some local teenagers broke into some poor unsuspecting tradie’s ute and stole his uniform and tools. I think a canopy would provide the extra security that I need.

I never really thought much about aluminium canopies until now. It seems like something that a lot of tradespeople are starting to put on the back of their utes. Like anything I buy, I like to do some research first to make sure I buy the best and most suitable item. I’ve also been looking online for the best ute toolboxes for Melbourne tradies. This robbery that happened recently definitely has got me in a bit of a worry, so I’m not worried about investing extra money into items that are more secure. It will pay off in the long run as I won’t have to fork out a whole chunk of money should the unfortunate happen if someone breaks into my ute. I’m also going to ask around at work and see if any of the other boys have any recommendations. While it is great to get opinions from people online, I do find these can be inaccurate at times as people only like to leave reviews for things that are bad. I think the best next step for me is to ask the guys at work and see what they recommend before cross-checking their recommendations with some online reviews too.

My Messy Brother

Posted under Drains on June 19th, 2021 by admin

‘What?!’ I called out to my wife, struggling to hear her over the sound of rushing water. ‘Vanessa, I can’t hear you!’

She took a tentative step into the bathroom, closer to me, the water coming up past her ankles as it erupted from all of the pipes.

‘I said,’ she screamed, close enough for me to make it out, ‘that I told you so!’

‘Not particularly helpful!’ I called back at her with a frown. She reached out and grabbed my arm for support, dragging herself to stand with me in the bathtub. Ironically, it was one of the only dry places in the entire room.

‘You and your idiot brother!’ she shook her head.

‘How was I supposed to know he wouldn’t fix it?’

‘I told you, there are plenty of professional drainage contracts available near Melbourne,’ she shook her head. ‘But noooo, he deserved another shot!’

‘He did,’ I protested. ‘He’s been back to school and got his plumbing certification and everything!’

‘I want to see that diploma!’ she screeched at me. I took an involuntary step backwards at the sight of her very, very angry eyes.

‘Look,’ I said, placing my hands on my hips in an attempt at maintaining the higher ground. ‘Mistakes were made.’

‘Choose your next words very carefully,’ she yell-whispered above the roar of the rapids. ‘Or I’m about to drown you in three inches of toilet water.’

‘Well,’ I gulped. ‘We sure aren’t the only people who need blocked drain repair in the Brighton area.’

‘Go on.’

‘So it stands to reason…’ my tongue ran dry for a moment, until I physically willed saliva back into my mouth, ‘that other people have had this same problem.’

‘This problem?’ she arched an eyebrow, waving a hand over our flooded bathroom, and rapidly flooding home. ‘This problem seems, what… precedented, to you?’

‘Of course,’ I nodded, feigning confidence. ‘So let’s get a professional out who’s fixed this exact problem before! No harm, no… honey?’

For the first time in my life, I physically heard the sound of somebody clenching their fists.

Starting our garden

Posted under Garden on June 18th, 2021 by admin

Months ago we saw this really cheap weatherboard house for sale in a really affluent area. We thought it would be more cost-effective to snap up that property purely for the large space of land it sits on, knock down the house, and build something new. As far as the house design, we hired a builder to put that together. While in the process of building we received an objection complaint from the council which had been submitted by one of our future neighbours. We can’t be too sure of who made the complaint but I have a sneaking suspicion it might be the neighbour on our left. The other day my brother came past to drop off a few paint swatches for our interior. Apparently, the neighbour came outside in a huff and absolutely berated him for parking on the left side of the road, even though he was only stopping by for a minute. Our street has zero parking restrictions, yet this bossyboots somehow believes that they have the right to dictate who parks their car where.

To top it off, the other day this neighbour came by and totally invited himself into our home without our permission, and started critiquing every little aspect of the house. It was bizarre. Then as he left, he insulted our unfinished garden! This interaction inspired me to buy miniature roses. I have had no time to pursue a nursery to find plants suitable for our yard. Looking online meant that I could sit back in between jobs I needed to do for my home, learn about the different plants that are available, figure out whether or not they’d be suitable, and place an order.

I ended up ordering a dozen sunflowers, some daisies, some ferns, and six David Austin roses. They’re expected to arrive very soon. Let’s hope this nosey neighbour doesn’t take issue with the postman trying to deliver me these miniature roses seeds. I wonder how the rest of the street feels about him. Surely they can’t like him, he’s a total pain.

Druid Kitchen Designer

Posted under Home on June 17th, 2021 by admin

I knew I shouldn’t have let that homeless lady stay at my house this week. My wife said it would be fine, that we’d be doing a good thing for someone in need, but I told her it would be more trouble than it was worth. I’d better get a lot of good karma for this because my house is completely ruined! You see, she wasn’t just your average, everyday homeless person begging for cash in the city. This woman was actually a druid. A real, magical druid, like from Goblins and Grottos. She’s been walking around the house ranting about how we need more nature, and it isn’t natural to be living around so many artificial materials. With her magic, she’s been spreading vines and flowers everywhere! We’re supposed to get a luxury kitchen renovation tomorrow, but I’m not sure how they’ll be able to work in here with all the natural obstructions this druid has added. I’m just sick of it! I’m sick of her!

If she loves nature so much, then why did she want to be in my house anyway? It doesn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t she be living out in the elements, building some sort of shack from sticks and grass if she wants shelter? It’s pretty hypocritical to say the way we live is unnatural, while also taking advantage of our home’s comfort. I’m not going to let some hippie druid stop me from having an awesome renovation by the best kitchen design company around Melbourne. They’ve won awards for their awesome kitchens, and I want my kitchen to reach that top level of style. Maybe I should take a match and burn those vines and flowers until the druid eventually decides to leave. If she wants to bother someone about living amongst nature, that’s completely fine, but it won’t be me. I won’t put up with it one moment longer. My wife might think I’m a jerk for it, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

Tinted Windows Appreciation

Posted under Windows on June 7th, 2021 by admin

We all know what it’s like to have weird co-workers. My work is no different and I have a few weird co-workers who I try to spend as little time with as possible. It’s nothing against them, we just have extremely different interests and I don’t really want to talk about what they want to talk about. For example one of my co-workers, let’s call him Jim, is obsessed with winter and the windows in our office. I find it peculiar he cares so much about these things. I’ve never known anyone to be so obsessed with windows before.

Whenever I am unfortunate enough to have to spend time with him, he’ll go on and on about the commercial window tinting. Melbourne offices are definitely of the highest quality and standard, but considering the windows to be the best part of our office space isn’t the first thing that would come to my mind. Oh well, different strokes for different folks, I guess.

I just wish he wouldn’t force me to stare out the window and tell him that the windows are clearly better in winter than they are in summer. I mean, seriously, who cares about that type of stuff? I’m just here to get my work done and socialise with the coworkers that I like, not talk about frosted window tinting.

I wish it was summer again. My weird coworker isn’t so perky when it’s warm. It’s like he hibernates in summer but becomes the spokesperson for the cold and windows in winter. I’ve tried to explain all this to people outside of work but they just don’t get it. Their weird co-workers are just socially awkward, not obsessed with random things.

I’ve got to go now. It’s almost his scheduled lunch break slot and I don’t want to ruin the last fifteen minutes of my lunch with him. Sorry, but not sorry.

Incredible Buyer’s Advocate

Posted under Buyers Advocate on April 12th, 2021 by admin

I’m moving in today! I’ve had so many of you guys message me about which buyer’s advocate I used, and I’ve been so happy to share that information with you. She has just improved my life tenfold and I know she’ll improve all your lives too. Having a buyer’s advocate in your corner is one of those things that is just genuinely worth the money. I couldn’t recommend it more. So if you’re even slightly considering hiring a buyer’s advocate in Brighton or Kew or wherever you are, take this as a sign to do so.

Seriously, everything about the buying process has gone down without a hitch. The settlement period is over and lasted the exact amount of time that my awesome buyer’s advocate said it would. Nothing happened unexpectedly, which I really appreciated because usually, stuff happens to me unexpectedly all the time. My buyer’s advocate even suggested a good moving company to me, saying that she knew I could rely on them. She was right, they were perfect.

I’ve really learned a lot from this experience. I now understand the value of delegating, and how important it is to trust the experts because they’re experts for a reason. I have no doubt that if I ever want to move houses again, I’ll use a buyer’s advocate. Malvern East could be somehow that I’d want to move to one day, and I’d very certain that my current advocate would know exactly what to do in that suburb.

I’m really looking forward to settling into my new home. All my stuff has been moved in and the only thing left to do is close the door behind me, sit on the couch and appreciate what I have. For someone that has been unlucky her whole life, it’s nice to finally be on the other end of it. I never knew what it felt like to be this happy.

Dizzy Car Service

Posted under Cars on March 30th, 2021 by admin

Today I entered a competition to see who could spin around and get dizzy the longest. I didn’t win, but it was really fun. It’s just a shame that I couldn’t keep spinning for a few seconds longer because the prize was incredible. A free car service? How could anybody say no to that?

Now I’m going to have to pay for my next log book service, like all the other chumps in the world. Meanwhile, Tommy gets to go to the local mechanic and get one for free. It sucks, especially since he just got a car service, but there’s nothing I can do about it. He won fair and square because he’s the best at getting dizzy. Far better than I could ever be.

That man can spin, I’ll tell you that. His technique is just amazing. Maybe I should get him to teach me the ways of the dizzy so that I can win the next competition. Would he agree to train me, though? What if he refused, just so that he could keep winning? Well, I suppose there’s no real harm in asking.

I really could have used the free car service now, though. I’m well overdue for one, and the auto electrical shop near Toowoomba I usually visit keeps telling me I need to get it done. They’re right, but I just don’t have the money. Well, I don’t have any money at all. I wasted it all on pancakes for all my workmates. I didn’t even get any pancakes, but it was worth it to see how happy everyone was. Still, I kind of wish I had the money for my car service now. I just really thought I could win that dizzy competition, so I went and spent the money I’d been saving for a car service. I guess I should have waited.

Maybe I can find another dizzy competition that is offering a free car service as a prize.

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