Gettin’ the Girl with Gardening

flowersThey say to get someone to like you, you have to get involved in their hobbies. It doesn’t sound foolproof, because they could be into some really nasty stuff, like drugs or My Small Horsie. If that was the case, I’d just give it all up as a lost cause and bury myself in ice-cream to make the pain go away. But this girl…she likes gardening. I used to say that I hated gardening, but ever since I heard that she likes it…well, it doesn’t sound so bad.  I could get my hands dirty, literally because that’s what you do in gardening. Working with soil…and all that. You know how it is, right? Are there daffodil varieties for sale? Like, different types of daffodil? I wonder if she’d just accept that I’m a newbie at all this, because that’s the truth and if I was handed a flower bulb I wouldn’t have the slightest clue what to do with it.

I need to do some research, clearly. The only person in our family with any gardening interest is Great Aunt Maria, and I only know that because every time we were at her house she’d feed us beetroot from her vegetable patch. We all hated beetroot, and to be honest, I never actually saw her eating any of it so I think she hated it too. Still, it must’ve been the only thing she knew how to grow so it was just beetroot all the time. Who’d actually LIKE beetroot? I’m pretty sure it was never meant to be eaten by humans, but someone started the trend to be edgy and now we’re all suffering for it. Whatever, this girl probably doesn’t like it either so I don’t need to grow beetroot. I think that’s what we call a deal-breaker, anyway…

So tulips are nice. I mean, I’ve heard that people like them, and they’re one of about five flowers that I know. They’re also everywhere, so I guess they can’t be too hard to grow. Maybe I should just start by finding some tulip bulbs for sale, giving it a go, and if I know I can do it I’ll bring them to her all like “hey, I grew these, isn’t gardening simply splendid!” And that will be my ‘in’, as they say.

-Trevor

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